Being critical of books you've never read!

Well, I  knew this was coming, but the critics of The Crazy Side of Orthodoxy are starting to get a bit louder in the last day or two. What really amazes me is that most of these critics freely admit that they have not, and in fact will not read the book. Yet they feel 100% qualified to pontificate about a number of issues which they cannot possibly be qualified to comment on.

A.) The first issue many critics seem to find annoying are the chapter titles. People claim that they are terribly offended by them and in fact are even blasphemous! Now wait a second. Are people so dense that when they read a chapter titled "What do Orthodox Traditionalists and Star Trek fans have in common?" they actually don't "get" that the book is a freaking satire? My God. What more could I have done? Insisted that the publisher put "for all the people with no sense of humor -- this is a SATIRE!" on the cover? Yes, it deals with serious issues, but come on? Star Trek?

B.) Of course that's not all. Critics of the book also feel 100% qualified to comment, quite negatively, on my personal spiritual life. Of course they somehow know, (by reading the blurb on the publisher's website no less) that my spiritual life is quite poor, that I'm a raving madman and am out to destroy the "truth" of Orthodoxy!

C.) Other people claim that I have no idea what it is that I'm actually talking about. I'm not a priest or a monk and so I couldn't possibly know anything about Canon law or Orthodox Christian theology. Yet of  course all these critics are not priests either but are somehow perfectly qualified to explain the "real" meaning of Orthodoxy and the Church Canons. Interesting.

D.) They dredge up the "historical context" argument to "defend" the Canons of the Church. They could simply save themselves the trouble of using this argument to criticize the book since I address it at length in the book. What's worse (as I point out in the book) is that these historical contexts, as true as they are, don't get the Canons or the Church "off the hook." Just because "everyone" 200 years ago was a racist, doesn't make racism right. Yes indeed, "everyone" in the Middle Ages thought miscarriages were caused by sins -- and everyone was WRONG!

E.) Some people actually pretend that "no one" believes that Canon law is divine or inspired by the Holy Spirit! Well, the first Canon of the 7th Ecumenical Council claims the Canons are inspired -- case closed. (See chapter 3 of The Crazy Side of Orthodoxy.)

 F.) Others actually claim (just as I predict in the book) that only people who have the "mind of the Fathers" and those who are humble and tuned in with the will of God can "truly" understand the Canons. That rules out those of us who use the critical historical method -- and turns Canons into a matter of faith. Correction -- it turns them into a matter of Gnostic faith.

Finally seeing that these critics have not read the book, they descend to attacking me personally. Again, I've been called a fanatic, "just a convert" of "only" eight years. And of course because I didn't spend 50 years in a monastery gaining secret wisdom from the the saints I can't possibly have any idea what I'm talking about. Their criticisms are not based on any of my arguments but only on the fact the title is provocative and "offensive."

Oh yes, the most bizarre statement I've read is that people might be turned off of Orthodoxy based on this book. Hmmm. Somehow this is MY fault and not the Church which wrote the laws to begin with.Talk about shooting the messenger.